It has been a hot minute since I last wrote a blog. I am actually in the process of writing about my recovery story/process and it’s been a challenging one to write. I decided that since I am taking my time with that one that I should at least update with the rest of what is happening in my life and what I’ve been learninging about the past few weeks.
So 1. I started my life coaching course. I’ve been learning a lot, especially with my beliefs involving money. I’ve learned that since money has had such a negative connotation with me throughout my life, I have a hard time holding on to it in fear of it making me “greedy” or “corrupt”. Money to me feels like such a dirty subject and so in order to change my beliefs, I’m having to look at what is the truth behind money. My teacher gave me the homework to look up the history of money. What doing this has shown me is that money isn’t some big complex concept. It’s simply a universal system created to barter so that we don’t need to trade for things people don’t necissarily want. Simply, it is a bartering tool. Nothing more, nothing less. and seeing it for what it is, rather than what my brain has made it out to be, it becomes stressfree. And with that, I feel like I get my power back when in regards to money. I wonder if this also resignates with anyone else as well.
2. I just wanted to say how proud I am. I lost 5 pounds over the course of 2 weeks just by doing what I’m supposed to be doing and working out/eating healthy day by day. When you start seeing results, the hard work becomes very rewarding. It’s so easy to want results asap and quit when you don’t. I’ll be honest, I’ve tripped up a few times in my 60 day challenge. But I think what is the main thing I’m getting out of this is finding a system that works right for me. Even if it means starting over and over and over until I get it right. At the same time, I don’t see it as a “60 day” challenge, but rather a healthy life style that I am trying strive for to help serve me an those around me. I think the hardest part that I am still learning is to be intentional with the things I do in my day to day life. So although I find myself “starting over” I don’t feel like I am. I feel like what I’m doing is going back to the drawing board and see what worked and what didn’t. And THAT is what I believe is what creates success; learning from one’s mistakes and seeing how you can do better. I think the only thing I’m probably a little nervous about is my Physical Fitness Assessment coming up. I need to work on my running. It’s not terrible. When I tested myself on Thursday, I made it just in time, but still. I need to do better so that I can pass.
3. I have a strong area in my lizard brain that becomes easily addicted to anything as a coping mechanism. I’m sure most people can relate to this in one way or another. Along side my money issues, I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I have been addicted to app games on my phone. I end up throwing money in places where I don’t need just for that quick fix that my brain thinks that it needs in order to cope in my day to day life.I think, because I’ve been doing so well and growing so much it becomes easy to forget that I’m still recovering from an eating disorder. This disease can be seen as an addiction since you depend on it to cope with your day to day life. Since I no longer binge and purge, or starve myself, my brain looks for other things it can latch on to in order to “cope”. One area that it has latched on to is my spending. So I’m learning to be more intentional with how I spend my money and where. Learning not to feel guilty about mistakes but to just correct them when I can. So I just try my best when I can. I even did the unthinkable today and deleted one of the game apps on my phone that I spend the most money on. So that was a big step for me. I need to save and I can’t if I’m throwing money away at something that is made to become addictive.
Anyways I just wanted to post and get out some of the things on my mind from the past couple weeks. I’ll be more consistant with updating. I’m just not a big “social media” person and easily forget to post on any platform.
I think I want to start doing a podcast/book/video recommend with every post. One or more that resonated with me and possibly help others.
This week’s recommendations is from the Rise Podcast Episode 105: Learning as You Grow with Jessica Herrin
I love listening to women bosses and how they grew and scaled there companies. Especially when there is such a desire to help other women across the country and world. So maybe these can help inspire you in your company. Or perhaps you just want to hear an uplifting podcasts. Either way, give them a listen on whatever podcast platform you use and show your support for these lovely women!